Conversations with DH on Infertility

Written by Arpee on July 1, 2008 – 8:22 am -

Sweet DH (who was coaxed into editing the picture as mentioned in yesterday’s blog) and I randomly have infertility conversations. The last time was about a few weeks ago when many follicles were growing rapidly. We thought that twins would be great, triplets were sort of okay. I am sure as we go through another cycle that we will have a similar conversation again.

There was poster in the SoulCysters forum about the sensitive question about making decisions about pregnancy with multiples. She was not in that situation but wanted to open that for discussion because of the possibility instead of sticking her head to the sand. Seems like husband was more of “I will support you. Whatever is best for your health” kind of guy.

Here was my response:

Like some of the posters here, I too would like to encourage you to just start having some open discussions with your husband.

Open discussion is one that does not need to conclude or have a decision made since you do not need to make a decision today. But opening up the discussion NOW makes it more “safe” to talk about it without being pressured to make a decision. Also, having discussions will ultimately clarify to both of you what is important to each of you and you can use these to base/consider your future decision.

Having a discussion with your husband could cover a lot of things:
- medical safety for you and your babies
- religious beliefs
- finances to support the conception and birth
- finances to support the potential size (and complications) of the family

Just be sensitive about it also with your husband - no nagging tones, no accusing tones, etc. And choose the right time to talk about it.

… You’ve got plenty of time to start the open discussions!

Although the question was more about multiple pregnancy and reduction, I focused my response on having open conversations regarding infertility with the husband since 1) I knew everyone has her own opinions, 2) husband/wife close partnership in the journey of infertility is very important. Whatever that decision would be in the future, it is shared by the couple.