The Saga of Becoming Fruitful

Posts Tagged ‘God’

Where is Wisdom Found?

DH and I are currently leading the Experiencing God study with a small group composed of MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL1, SIL2 and a couple friend, F1 and F2. In one of our previous lessons, we learned that God could speak through the church, so we “coveted” their prayers so they may be able to guide us based on what the Lord may impress in their hearts.

So 2 weeks ago, DH and I decided to ask them to specifically pray with us as we make decision regarding IVF although we know that they were already praying for us to have a baby.

DH was the one who spoke about it. He gave an overview of the what we are faced with. Their reactions were not what I expected.

MIL asked rhetorically why we had to go through IVF . SIL1 echoed a statement from our study “What I believe about God will determine what I do.” . Reading those statements now looks like they are harmless. However, what I perceived in their voice tones and body language were lacking grace. What I perceived was - we are not trusting God.

BIL and F1 had more open stances. BIL said that maybe in the future, IVF will be treated like the treatment of vaccines - initially, there were many, many questions. Now, it is a common practice void of any no moral and ethical questions. F1 only suggested that we might want to consult with a bioethicist so we can have any of our questions clarified.

I felt that with the little overview we gave them, we were immediately judged. So I had to interject and say that the reason why we are sharing this is to request for their prayers since as a church, the Lord deals with each one of us. I added that we are not asking for their approval and permission.

I have to say I was disappointed with what I saw in their reactions - specially the ladies.

Someone watching the discourse might think that I am overreacting to their reactions. DH did say he could understand their reactions since they did not know a lot about IVF and perhaps were operating under many misconceptions.

Which is exactly why I was disappointed in their reaction. Had they been in my position, I would be more graceful in inquiring.

The Lord pulled me aside though and later gave me this verse: “Pride only breeds quarrel, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

I realized I was being prideful because I had researched this IVF topic extensively and here they are just getting less than 20 sentences in description and they are able to make a conclusion about it and about us in less than a few minutes. I thought that was being arrogant and judgmental. And of course, my pride was hurt!

Nevertheless, we did ask for their prayers in the hopes that the Lord speak through them as well on this IVF thing that we have been praying for some time. So I, we ought to be humble and ready as well to receive what they get from the Lord.

SIGH….

Ovulation Day (Theoretically…)

Well, good morning, ICLW ladies!

Today is my theoretical ovulation day. Well, I am not ovulating - BBT is steady and CM is is not egg-whitey. I was just hoping that maybe while we are on a break, my body would somehow work “normally” and we would miraculously conceive naturally. There’s no price for dreaming, right?

Anyway, welcome to my blog! This is my second time to be with you all. Make yourselves comfortable and roam around.

Meanwhile, I wanted to write something witty or to show something funny for you gals today. (You who have been reading my blog know I neither witty nor funny, so that would be a stretch!) Anyway, I settled to post this inspiring video for all of us:

A lot of us have been disappointed a couple of times already - some more times than the others, but deeply disappointed nevertheless. I know, I have. And at times, I don’t want to feel the disappointment and pain that I steel myself to numbness. But my God is merciful, gracious, kind and loving and despite my stiff-neck, independence and stubbornness, He welcomes me with open arms and comforts me to peace.

Sometimes, I do feel hopeless. I am reminded though that my God is the creator of heaven and earth and to him nothing is impossible. So for as long as I am alive in this earth, I have hope for a child of my own. That’s what keeps me going in this journey to fertility.

The key thing that encouraged me was what God showed the husband:
“Keep focused on me and just as Peter walked on the water, you’d be able to go over your circumstance. Look at me and I will get you through the storm.”
May this be my prayer - eyes on the Lord and He will take care of me!

Another thing I liked was the verse that the wife mentioned: Psalm 113:9 -
“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.”

We all know the statistics - not all of us are going to be a mother of our own flesh and blood. Yet, I continue to hope that this promise be given to my home. Though not as I will, but as God wills.

How about you? Are you losing hope? What keeps you going?

Husband Agrees

I got reminded to have a conversation with my husband regarding “until when will we try to conceive”? - this is after I commented on a blogher.com article referencing the same news about the new record on the oldest mother I mentioned yesterday. I told him about the thoughts that got triggered in my head.

DH agreed with the idea of having a limit, a stopping point although we both actually sounded upbeat and hopeful for the next steps in the next few months and years. We also clarified that that timeline included all infertility treatments and medical interventions.

I was a bit pleasantly surprised that DH was the one who brought up “what about adoption”? Read more »